Momma~
Awww... don't worry about it... I'm well past the point of caring what my mother wants me to do (or not do as the case may be) regarding my illness. Right about the time I started college in 2003, I decided that it won't hurt me if those around me know what I am going through. My mother hasn't quite gotten it yet that I actually get more support than negativity regarding my openness about my illness. Do I go into all the nitty-gritty details? No. Do I answer honestly? Heck yeah!
For instance, back in September there were several Fridays where the center was moving furniture from one classroom to another so that they could have the floors stripped and waxed over the weekend. When it came time for the pre-school rooms... my site director literally told me that she'd rather I be outside with the kids than lift anything inside- believe me I would have helped that way- due to my wrists/hands not being able to work like others. It's a fact of my life! Why avoid it? That's what I don't get. Probably never will. Mom thinks I "hide" behind my illness... but doesn't want me to do anything either that will dispute that I have anything wrong with me- if that makes any sense whatsoever! Mainly meaning that she doesn't want me to seem "cured" when I go to my rheumy appointments and such. Enough said, for now.
(((HONEY)))) 
I don't get it. I have never talked that way to my kids. I'm glad that you honestly answer her back. Im sure we all have a story in our families about "a certain family member" and Lupus/MCTD and what they feel about it.
I'm so sorry it's your Mom that is the one who makes the remarks. It's heart breaking to me.
I love you,
West Coast Momma~the one who believes in your health and wants to support you.